As many of you may know, I’ve had surgery back on the 2nd. Nothing serious, I was full of fibroids and wasn’t ready for a hysterectomy at 40. I don’t have any children. I always said that if it happened it would be fine and if it didn’t that would be fine too, but when faced with the finality of having my baby factory completely shut down, I sort of panicked. I’ve always done things my own way on my own terms so why would this be any different?
I can only assume that surgery was a success and things are fine at this point. Haven’t talked to the doctor about it just yet, but I feel okay. I remember going in and out of consciousness after with some strangers calling my name and then waking up a bit more when I heard someone tell me they were going to take me to my mom. Apparently, the procedure took longer than it was supposed to and she was asking about me. They told me before hand that they would wait for me to be completely awake before taking me to her, but they wheeled me out to her a bit early which is what I think woke me up more. I heard her voice.
The nurse tried a few times to put it in my hand, but I wasn’t coherent enough to figure that out. She explained that I could only use it once every 10 minutes. Ma agreed that she wouldn’t push it again and the nurse left. I can only assume I was groaning because after some amount of time, she pushed it again and kissed my forehead.
At some point, she started feeding me ice chips. I’m not entirely sure what her cue for that was. I remember thinking that my mouth was insanely dry and wishing I could have a drink, and then right away there she was with an ice chip in a spoon at my mouth. After a few chips, I was out again.
After waking up again, I figured out how hands work and was able to push my own button, just as soon as I could figure out what a button was. She helped put it in my hand. I felt around the stick with my thumb and figured it out. There was a beep, a bit of a wait, and the pain started dissipating. I saw a cup shape and tried reaching for it. Out of nowhere, Ma reaches the cup and starts feeding me more chips. She kept talking to me, asking me if that was enough, if I was in pain, if she could do anything. Just her being there was enough for me.
I eventually came to and didn’t need that button anymore. Most of the pain was during the time when I didn’t know what buttons were. Ma was up from her chair within seconds every single time I shifted. She even stopped watching her soap to check on me, and as everyone knows, you don’t even talk to Ma while her stories are on.
I already knew my Ma was the sweetest, kindest, most wonderful woman on the planet, I didn’t think there was a way I could love her more, but her dedication was on a whole other level that I didn’t think possible. I was lucky enough to have extremely attentive nurses already. I feel like they were in that room 3 to 4 times an hour, but the greatest blessing that day was the loving dedication of my old, crazy Ma. I love you, Ma. Thanks for all the ice chips and for braving Wal-Mart to bring me applesauce.
YA Fantasy author and amateur photographer living in New Mexico. A reflection of herself, her characters are timid at first but tend to stand up and push through when times get tough.